Still Moving

Life has been… interesting lately.Interesting feels like the only word that fits. Some days are good, some are heavy, and some I can’t even name. There are mornings I wake up with a spark of hope, and others where I feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water. But somehow, I keep moving. Maybe not gracefully. Maybe not confidently. But I’m still moving.

Speaking of moving, we moved to a new state. Within two weeks we uprooted our entire lives, and two months later, we still haven’t recovered.

It was supposed to feel like a fresh start. In some ways, it is. But what no one tells you is how lonely starting over can be. You can be surrounded by people and still feel invisible. You can be in a room full of laughter and still feel like you’re quietly falling apart inside.

Everything is new. New home, new job, new friends, new grocery stores. Some days it feels like I’m drowning in the unknown. New place. New faces. New everything. And in the middle of all that, I’m learning that even when you feel like you’re drowning, there’s this strange kind of grace. The kind that whispers, “You don’t have to have it all together. Just breathe.”

Do I always take a breath in those moments? No. Most of the time I overthink. I spiral. I tell myself maybe we shouldn’t have moved at all. But then I remember that would mean being disobedient.

We moved because God told us to. And if I’m honest, I’ve questioned Him more in these last few months than I have in years. There are moments I pray and it feels like my words hit the ceiling and fall right back down. I keep asking, “Why did You tell us to move if it was going to be this hard?”

Before we left, we had just settled. After four years, we were finally living, not just surviving. And now, it feels like life came in swinging — a Muhammad Ali special. Jab. Jab. Cross. Jab. Cross. Hook. Cross. We’re just trying to stay on our feet.

But I keep telling myself it’ll work out. It will, right?

So that’s what I’m doing. Breathing. Stumbling. Praying. Crying. Still showing up.It’s messy. But it’s real.And maybe that’s enough for now.

Authentically Us,

Samantha & Carl